Dirty Love
by darkNnerdy
Summary: Her attempts at settling down failed her years ago, but the past has a funny way of never staying buried. How will her new life survive colliding with her old? Things are bound to get a little dirty.
1. Chapter 1

**I OWN NOTHING! Not even the Kesha playlist that made this fic possible. **

**CHAPTER ONE**

* * *

**DIRTY LOVE!**

There are times in a person's life, when she looks around and wonder; what the fuck did I did to deserve this?

This was most definitely one of those times.

I've sat here for close to fifteen minutes, staring numbly at the people surrounding us. They're all chatting in whispered tones, their legs crossed at the ankles and their noses held high. Their floppy hats and floral dresses make me feel uncomfortably out of place.

I look down at myself. Star Wars cut up T and jeans with more holes than fabric. My flip flops and bright green painted toes scream 'Hot Mess'. I'm this place's worst nightmare and I'm more than surprised they even let me in.

I've often thought about what hell might look like, I never wondered until now what it might smell like.

"Chanel no. 5." I cough, looking at a blue haired lady, trying to burn her wig with my mind.

"What?"

"Hell. It smells like expensive old lady perfume. It's disgusting." I wrinkle my nose, the smell burning every hair inside, lighting it on fire with it's damnation flames.

"Bella! Oh my, god. What the hell is wrong with you?" Rose's eyes shoot wide as she looks around the room, searching to see if anyone noticed my outburst, I'm sure.

"Why did you bring me here?" I narrow my eyes, suspicious.

"You know that's my perfume." She lifts her wrist to her nose and inhales, making me giggle.

"Point made." I shift in my seat, my new bra pinching into my side. I definitely should have changed before leaving the club. "I hate this place."

"Well it doesn't like you either."

"Can we get the check and hit Denny's or something? I'm afraid I'm gonna catch old lady disease." I eye the small portions on my plate and wonder just how much this is costing her.

Rose and Emmett eat crap like this all the time, but I want pancakes and meat and real food. How she ever gets Emmett to eat at places like this I'll never know. I've seen him devour three t-bones and four potatoes in one sitting, eye fucking a pie the entire time.

"You're still drunk aren't you?" I lean down and blow into my hand, smelling my breath.

Minty fresh.

"You gonna rat me out to Emmett?" I cut my eyes to her. Emmett thinks I drink like a sailor and I don't correct him cause the face he makes is adorable. All anger and worry like I'm gonna put him in the grave.

"It's bad enough I have to practically nail the doors shut when you go to that place you call a job." And the reason she invited me out is revealed.

I shrug and tear into the eggs on my plate. "He told me to get a hobby."

"You're going to get him killed."

"Like you both aren't enjoying the classes I gave you." I snort and she laughs, digging into her own food, inhaling it with the grace of a cow. "I see Emmett's appetite has rubbed off."

"I have to make three trips to the grocery store now that his friend from college is back in town." She sighs around a mouth full of toast. "Does everyone Emmett hang out with eat like it's the end of the damn world?"

"Why didn't I know this? Who is it?" I wrack my brain trying to remember all his old college buddies, there's only one that comes to mind, but Emmett would never bring him around. Other than that, I rarely paid attention to who he hung out with in college. Emmett didn't want me near drunk frat guys, anyway.

Still, I feel sort of shitty for not knowing. As his sister, I probably should know.

"If you'd ever come over you'd know." She points her fork at me. I steal her sausage, popping it in my mouth.

"Alright, mom."

"I'm serious. He misses you and the only time he sees you anymore is when you need to be carried home or bail money." There is a hint of anger in her bright blue eyes that makes me feel small.

"That's not true! I saw him last week at the shop." I practically scream, earning us both looks. Rose waves her hand, a sheepish smile on her face and her icy gaze lands back on me. I salute the uppity bitches with my favorite finger and ignore them.

"Do you even know anyone here?"

"That isn't the point. We're in public and you're being rude." She looks at me like I kicked her puppy, and maybe I did, once, but I hate that look. Rose and Emmett don't deserve my attitude or my anger.

"I'll be good."

"Right," she drawls, laughing. "He misses you, a lot. You never come to the house anymore."

"Way to make me feel like crap, Rose." My shoulders slump and I refuse to admit I miss him too. Especially here. "I call him every night."

I focus on other things, instead. Earning me even more disapproval.

"Why on earth do you insist bringing that... thing with you everywhere?" She eyes the thing making noises at my feet as I feed it a piece of sausage off my plate.

"Now who's being rude, Rosalie?" I lift my oversized purse onto the table, making sure she can see inside. The look of disgust on her face makes me beam.

"Why can't you be normal?" She laughs, digging back into her food, eyes on my pet.

"Have you been talking to my mom again?"

"Bella." She rolls her eyes and pulls out her phone. "Your landlord sent a notice about it. No pets. You knew that when you chose that dump."

"It's not a dump, and Bacon is not a pet." I pull the mini pig out of my bag, checking his tiny pink bow and placing my hands over his ears. "He's food. Technically I can keep food in my townhouse."

Rosalie tries to hold onto her hard look, but a smile creeps up her sculpted face until we're both laughing and the entire restaurant is staring at us.

"Next time, let's pick up some happy meals and have a picnic instead, okay?" I look around again, and it's like having lunch in a senior citizen community.

"Deal!" She pushes back her plate and steals my fruit. "Emmett's gonna be pissed at me anyway for not inviting him along."

"Why didn't you?" I'm curious. Normally he follows her around like a puppy. Especially when there is food involved.

"Because technically this is business." She starts scrolling on her phone, before leveling her eyes onto me. "Did you call the cops on your neighbor last week?"

"Maybe."

"You gotta stop doing that. Mr. Banner can't keep anyone on that side of the townhouse longer than six months at a time." She scrolls some more and I wonder what else might pop up. "He's really pissed about the pig."

"Yeah I know. He's been by twice in the last month. Bacon isn't hurting anyone and he's potty trained." I pat his little chubby face and he snuggles against my palm.

"I'll see about a pet deposit, but I can't make any promises, okay?" Click, click, click and her attentions back on me. "You should really think about moving out of there."

"No thanks." I like my house. Charlie took everything else, but he couldn't take that.

"Fine. How about a compromise?" Her phone is completely out of sight now and I wait for the ball to drop.

"Rose." I hold my breath.

"One dinner," she says as she pays the bill, laying a ten on the table for a tip.

"At my place." I try, but I can already see the irritation growing on her face. I give Rose a lot of credit for being so patient with me. I know I can be unreasonable at the best of times, but she's always been good to me and even better to Emmett.

She's the sister I always wanted.

"Bella, Emmett can't even fit through your door." It's a lie. It was his townhouse way before it was mine, and he still stays the night when he and Rose fight.

I huff, giving in and grab Bacon. "When?"

"Friday night. Nothing fancy, but nothing with glitter either." She eyes the sequined bra under my tank top and rolls her eyes.

"I made this!"

"No shit." I smack her arm, making her laugh and Bacon snort. "Renee and Charlie won't even be there this time."

"Good." It's like a weight being lifted off my shoulders as I stand and snatch the last piece of sausage for Bacon.

"Bella…"

"Look, Dr Phil," I whisper, trying not to embarrass her again, wanting to just run from this place. "I like them just fine, but I can't be held responsible for my actions when they come around."

"That reminds me, no drinking."

"Not even a beer?" I ask, knowing good and damn well Emmett will sneak me a beer. "You make me sound like an alcoholic."

She winks, opening the door for me and kissing my cheek. "See you Friday!"

* * *

**So I owe massive thank you's for this fic. Ham and Satan always, cause without either of them, this would still be sitting there in a doc, lonely and bitching at me all LOOK AT ME! PAY ATTENTION TO ME! But with them and the help of Lynz and Annie Butts, I got a ton written to share with you guys. I also owe thanks to the ladies of FB for sending me inspiration for Bacon. So many cute pictures. If you wanna know what he looks like to me, just visit my FB or Twitter. **

**As for this fic, this is nothing but pure summer fun for me. Think of it as my other personality coming out to play. That side of me loves Kesha and pigs and glitter. I have to deal with her, so you guys do too. You're welcome.**

**I do have a schedule and many chapter written to keep ahead of that schedule, so expect another update at the end of the week or next Monday. **


	2. Chapter 2

**I OWN NOTHING! Not even the Kesha playlist that made this fic possible. **

**CHAPTER TWO**

* * *

"I should not have agreed to this." I flop on my bed with a dramatic sigh. "Why didn't you stop me?"

Bacon's wet nose nudges my foot in response and he begins to chew on my sock, completely oblivious to my meltdown.

"Bad pig!"

He snorts, narrowing his eyes with my sock half in his mouth. I try to remember if I've fed him, but draw a blank.

Damn responsibility!

"Worst best friend, ever." I snatch my foot back and I swear he growls. "This is why we can't have nice things. You eat them."

He runs away then, his little piggy butt bouncing out my door, leaving me to get ready for work.

It takes no less than three hours to shower and shave, then slip into teeny tiny leather shorts and tacky white knee boots, a gift from Al and Jasper. Almost everything I wear at The Cockpit comes from them, all the way down to the glitter panties and tasseled pasties. I rarely wear those, but they look awesome when I'm alone making sure my boobs haven't becomes besties with my knees.

So far, so good!

"Bacon!" I scream, earning a bang on the wall from my bitchy neighbor. "Get your ass in here or I'm leaving without you." I try not to break my neck as I search for his bag and wrangle him inside.

He's snoring before we even make to the car and I buckle him in his carseat before trying to make it to work before I'm late. The last time I was, Al made me take the center cage. There's no way in hell I'm doing that again. The place may be full of gay guys, but gay or not they still get handsy. Those guys really don't care if I have a vagina or a dick six shots in.

With three minutes to spare, I race inside and hand Bacon to Jasper and flop in my seat, letting Al take over.

"I made it, Al!" I'm out of breath and huffing, chest puffed out at my achievement. "No middle cage for me, bitches!"

"Do you _see_ my dick?" She lifts one smooth leg onto my thigh, his hand smoothing out the fishnets. "No bitch you do not! And you do not get to call me Al when you don't see my dick. It's Alice. Remember the name, Jasper'll be screaming it later." She flips her weave into my face blocking my view of her resting bitch face.

"Drama queen." I pull bits of her hair out of my mouth all the while wondering why were even friends anymore. I think I might have been drunk when I agreed to that relationship.

"Drag Queen." She smacks me with her glitter brush making me choke.

"You aren't even gonna praise me for being on time?"

"You mean for this one time?" I nod. "Hell no!"

"Bitch!" I say, but I see her smile. She prefers me out in the crowd, swinging my half covered ass cheeks to the crowd. Middle cage is a bitch with bad lighting, and for some creepy reason, very sticky. I like to pretend someone spilled their drink when my palm gets stuck to a bar. Reality is overrated.

"How's my tuck?" Alice asks, stepping out from behind me, my hair in her hand, pulling my attention to the mirror.

"Is that one of your balls?" I narrow my eyes, trying to get a better look. Yep. One ball eyeing me like a pirate. It's sort of cute. Like a hairless rat or something.

"Damn it, Jasper!"

Jasper glares as he dusts Bacon with glitter, reattaching his bow. "Don't you damn it me! I told you to get a bigger tuck." He turns to me rolling his eyes. "She never listens."

"Don't put me in the middle of your problems. I got my own." I sigh, leaning my head back so Alice can finish.

"Imma deal with yo ass later." She puts her hands on her hips, waving her wand, the one not dangling between her legs, at Jasper.

"Promise?"

"Get a room!" I scream, wishing I could cover Bacon's poor mini pig virgin eyes.

"Jealousy looks so awful on you." Alice cocks her hips, pulling my hair even tighter as Jasper nods. "Now what was this you were saying about problems?"

"I wasn't. We were discussing your balls trying to find freedom."

"Deflection." Jasper and Alice share a look before I hear a "Mhmm." And both of them are practically salivating.

"Girl you better share that shit." She paints my face with precision, but her eyes are expectant.

"Emmett." It's one word that feels loaded.

"Is he here?" Jasper brightens up and Alice throws a hairdryer at him, but he's already out the door in search of my big brother like a bitch in heat.

"Watch out for Bacon, asshole!"

"Stupid men. I don't know why he likes them so big. That man is like a monkey, all hairy and huge. I told him I'd stop shaving but he gets pissy." Alice pulls my hair a little too tight and I wince, smacking her arm.

"Dude. That shit hurts and unlike yours, my hair is connected to my head." I yank my head back and she almost falls into me.

"Inside this club I am a lady." Alice lifts her chin, pushing up her cutlet boobs that look ten times better than mine, but her balls are staring me in the eyes. Well, the left one anyway.

She pulls me from the chair as the music starts booming in the dressing room and spins me around, offering me a shot. It's sort of our ritual before a show. One shot to settle nerves that left us both years ago.

It's not long before I have to help Alice into her skin tight dress, moving her weave to zip up the back. Even as a man she's fucking beautiful. Her crystal blue eyes and natural black hair make me green with envy.

"You're never gonna hide that thing." Alice motions to my hand that holds her in place and it's like a splash of cold water on my face. I look down at the line that won't disappear and swallow the bile that rises in my throat.

"We're not talking about this." I snap. "Ever."

"Prude."

"Did you give Jacob my list?" I lick my lips, ignoring her as I check over the paint on my exposed flesh. They have people set up throughout the club offering body paint, but no one touches me but Alice and Jasper. The painters don't do shitty work, not really, but if I let them have their way, my entire body would glow under the fluorescent lights. Instead, and because I let Jasper babysit Bacon, Alice only paints swirls and flowers against my skin. She's damn good with a brush, and even better with a needle.

"Did you paint a heart on my ass?" I laugh checking my cheek in the mirror and she just smiles.

Trashy but perfect.

"Yep. And Jacob is not happy with so much Kesha. Didn't your daddy teach you anything about music?" I bust out laughing as she poses, hands on her hips, neck moving side to side.

"He can't play MJ all night. He'll put you guys out of business." I peak from between the curtain as we make our way to the dance floor and laugh as Jacob sets up the DJ table.

Between Alice, Jasper, and Jacob I couldn't ask for better friends, even if they sometimes scare me. Like now. Besides Rose and Emmett, I've never met people more loyal, or willing to put up with my shit.

"He can't be serious."

"It's theme night!" Alice claps, but I can't hide my giggles.

In the center of the club, flashing lights on his head, Jacob stands at six foot five in his red leather jacket, tight against his bulky body. The dozen or so zippers glow under the lights as well as his newly permed hair. I never understood his obsession with the king of pop. He'd started talking exactly like him a few years ago. The once booming voice that reminded me Emmett, now sounds more like mine, light and feminine.

"Oh, my fucking god. He's wearing the studded glove!" I choke. "Alice, I can't. Make him stop!"

"You can't be the only one allowed to rock out in leather, drama queen." Alice smacks my ass, shoving me onto the dance floor.

"Bitch!" I call back and make my way to my cage.

Strobe lights flicker and swing as the club fills with men and the women who like to ogle them. I'm one of three women who dance here. Six cages litter the floor and separate us from the bodies that dance and sway as Jacob sets the mood. It's like a rave, filled with sweaty men and their rock hard bodies. My eyes drift to Lea and Angela as they begin, then over to Sam and Alec.

When the cages begin to lift high above the crowd, any tension I had felt within disappears into the mist below, rolling out with every thump of bass. It's exhilarating swinging in a cage.

Emmett tells me I'm better than this, that I could be anything or anyone, but he's wrong.

I glance at my hand holding one of the bars to my cage and shut my mind down, as the music sets a rhythm I can lose myself to. Forgetting exactly what it is I'm running from, yet again.

* * *

** Until next week! **

**Thanks Ham, Satan, Granny, and Lynz. **

**Also PSA: I'll be taking reviews as charity for Alice's new tuck. Let's do it for her balls! Viva La Balls! **


	3. Chapter 3

**I OWN NOTHING! Not even the Kesha playlist that made this fic possible. **

**CHAPTER THREE**

"Rub my feet, slave driver." I slip my feet on Jasper's lap in the middle of Denny's and wiggle my sore toes. My feet ache and my heels are on fire. I've been dancing for hours and my legs feel like fucking jelly, but food. So much food. Even though I could really, really use a nap, I wouldn't miss food for the world.

Bacon sniffs at my feet and turns away in disgust, earning himself a strawberry from Al's plate and a roaring laugh from Jacob. He doesn't even chew, just swallows it whole and edges closer to the food. If he wasn't an animal, I would be sure he actually popped right out of me.

It's another night of tradition. I work three nights a week at The Cockpit. Since my first night, Al and Jasper have always dragged me, dead on my feet, out for dinner at Denny's. The first time was to celebrate me not breaking a glass when they hired me to mix drinks. The next was for tucking away a dick like a pro. It carried on from there. Always Denny's, and always at three AM.

It was a family dinner of two drag queens, a teacup pig, a creepy Michael Jackson wanna be, and a dancer with no business dancing. We are dysfunctional at best, but we love each other and I wouldn't change it for the world.

"Be nice to Bacon, B." Jasper scolds me as he pets my evil pet. Bacon is eating this shit up.

"You try dancing in the middle of bunch of sweaty bodies for four hours and see if you don't stink." I kick his little pig butt with my foot and he oinks, hiding under Jasper's arm.

"We really need one of these, Al," Jasper says and I know he means something more. They've been trying to adopt for two years now with no luck. I've watched their hearts break over and over again with every rejection. I've offered to let them adopt me, but they both claim I'm way too much work.

Bitches.

"You could keep him tonight. I really need to catch up on my sleep and he get's weird when I sleep more than two hours at a time." And I could really use a night sleep without his nose in my face, or him jumping on top of me.

"Does he cuddle?" Jacob asks and I snort. If you can call a wet snout on your boob cuddling, than sure.

"With Jasper, maybe. He likes to bite me awake." I think about the permanent scar on my ankle. "I really don't know why I keep him around."

"Enough about the pig! Tell us about this dinner." Al scoots closer to me, his eyes twinkling and his hands tucked under his chin.

"Can we come?" Jasper perks up, his attention shifting to us.

"No." Al and I both say at the same time, earning us a scowl.

"What about this friend? Rose trying to play matchmaker, again?" Al turns back to me and links our arms, pulling me against her.

"God, I hope not. I'm done with men." I sigh and watch Jacob dramatically slump in his seat. If I hadn't caught a guy giving him a blow job in the girl's bathroom earlier, I would think he has a thing for me. "Don't worry Jackie, there's always a place in my bed for you, big guy."

"Can you wear one of those Michael masks I bought?" Jacob's eyes light up under his fake lashes.

"And just like that, you ruined the fantasy." Al throws his napkin at Jacob and we laugh.

"So." Al turns back to me, ignoring them. "About this guy? Is it, ya know?"

"No. Emmett wouldn't hurt me like that. It's probably some douche he played football with. He had so many jock friends back then. Rose said they ate like wild animals."

"You need to tell that woman to bring her ass to the club. It's been way too long, and with those legs it would be a crime not to show them off more." Al gets a dreamy look in his eyes and I know he's fantasizing about her legs. To him they are pure gold and would look perfect in tacky leather boots.

I'd almost hate Rose for the attention her legs are getting, but I've worked my ass off all my life and know my legs are killer. Pretty sure Rose and I have mutual jealousy. I want her boobs, she wants my butt. I'd trade her if I wasn't sure I'd fall over walking.

I scarf down the last of my food and scoop up Bacon, making Jasper pout.

"If I can convince Emmett I'm not some creepy stripper, I will."

"Ugh, men." We both sigh and fall into a fit of giggles.

We kiss and hug and make plans and then it's back to my place for a bubble bath and sleep.

Early the next morning, I call Emmett. He's vague as hell about his new house guest and upset that I lied to Rose about seeing him. His constant subject change puts my stomach in knots and my spider senses on high alert. Emmett likes to keep me guessing on shit and forever on my toes. He thinks it's funny to make me nervous and it usually ends up with us wrestling and breaking something Rose really loves. I know he has his reasons for not coming right out and telling me every single thing, and a lot of that is my fault, but it still drives me crazy.

I remind myself to try harder with my brother. It isn't his fault our parents are dicks. It was him who practically raised me anyway. Taking on the role of adult provider before you're really even an adult is hard work. I sure as fuck didn't make anything easy for him.

"How about I let you work on my car?" I offer, hoping it will make him smile, taking away some of the tension between us. "It's been making this weird clunk noise."

"Did Bill give it a look?" he asks. I can hear the smile in his voice. I picture him bouncing on his feet just thinking about touching my car. After all, it was once his baby.

"He wanted to charge me fifty just to lift the hood."

"And?"

"He likes to look at my ass like a creepy old man. No way." I cringe, remembering the way he used to grip his grease rag whenever I checked the oil.

"You driving her over Friday night?"

I swat at Bacon as he tries to steal the cold pizza from my plate. I chew on the inside of my cheek as I try and think of a way to get out of dinner. Again.

When I don't answer, he sighs and I hear him walking through the house.

"Rose is worried, B." Code for he's worried. "I know you don't like coming around cause they live so close."

"Next door." An acre apart. So. Fucking. Close.

"Right. And I get it. They treated you like shit, but when did I ever?" The hurt is so clear in his voice and it cuts me deep. Angry tears threaten to spill and I grip the phone a little too tight.

"I love you, Em. I promise I'll be there, okay? Me and the car." Pride is a bitch and it stings when you swallow it. Like cheap ass whiskey.

"Good. And try not to sound so happy about it." We both laugh and chat a bit more, mostly about his business expanding and his lawyers trying to get him into shit he isn't interested in. He tells me about his new TV and how Rose caved, letting him get a new gaming system. He's like a giddy teen again and it makes me smile as he explains how he beat a new game and the controller vibrates.

We skim anything to do with Charlie and Renee.

Charlie sits at a desk now, when he isn't traveling. Emmett runs everything, dealing with renters and acting as property management most days. He's good at what he does, better even than Charlie was. I was good at it once, too.

When we hang up the calendar glares at me.

Tomorrow. Friday the thirteenth. Worst idea ever.

* * *

**Thanks Satan, Ham, Lynz, and Granny. I heart you bitches. **

**So... who wants more Al balls, or maybe the Dinner at Emmett's? **

**REVIEWS FOR BALLS AND DINNER! But maybe not at the same time, unless you like that sort of kinky shit. **


	4. Chapter 4

**I OWN NOTHING! Not even the Kesha playlist that made this fic possible.**

**CHAPTER FOUR**

* * *

Windows down. Check!

Radio up. Check!

"Don't judge me!" I laugh as Bacon's tiny face cocks from side to side as I tap into my inner white girl gangsta on our ride over.

There is nothing like rap music to soothe your nerves.

_"Whoop whoop! Pull over that ass is too fat!"_

_"Whoop whoop! Pull over that ass is too fat!"_

I mumble Trina's part, looking more like I'm going through a seizure as we pull into Em's driveway. My nerves hit me full force as I turn off the car and white knuckle the wheel.

"You got this. It's just dinner, not some crazy ass A&E episode of Intervention." I breath in and out, wishing I had a flask. Rose would definitely snap my neck, but at least drunk I wouldn't feel it, right?

Snorting pulls my eyes from the front of their house to Bacon.

"We're on our best behavior, you hear me, Bacon?" I stare into the rearview mirror as Bacon jumps around on my seats. "Don't eat the furniture, and no begging!"

I take his snout against my elbow as an agreement. He jumps into my arms, letting me put his tiny harness around his fat body.

"It's the pizza, little dude." I pat his tummy and let him out of the car.

Em's giant truck is planted in the driveway as usual, but one of almost equal size is parked next to it. There's a California plate and the surfboard decal on the back makes me snort.

"Definitely a douche bag. Do you see this?" I point at the blue board, but Bacon's too busy eating their expensive flowers.

I refuse to look at the perfect brick house next door with it's bad memories and broken childhood dreams.

If anyone ever asked Em what the B stands for when he calls me that, he might say Bitter or Bitch. I definitely wouldn't argue with him.

"We should make a run for it while we still can," I whisper, leaning down to scoop him up as their front porch light flickers on and the unmistakable blond hair of Rosalie makes its way onto the porch.

"Why did you bring him?" She moves down the steps, glaring at Bacon. "And he's eating my damn flowers! Emmett where's the gun? We're having bacon."

"No, you aren't. If anyone is eating him, it's me." I grab him, holding him to chest. "And shut up, dude. He's sensitive about his weight right now."

"Why do I put up with you?"

"Because I'm adorable." I give her a bright smile as she pulls me up the stairs, but my steps falter inches from her door and I'm no longer breathing. The bottom drops and my heart sputters to a stop as short, messy hair comes into view.

Oh, god. "You have got to be fucking kidding me."

"Bella?" She turns when I don't move and her eyes go wide as her feet hit the wood floor in her foyer. Her bare feet on the slick wood is the only sound besides the booming of my heart in my ears.

Fuck! Fuck me fuck fuck fuck! Fuck a duck.

"Bella what's going on? What's wrong?" She tugs on my hand but I snatch it away, flinching back like she's burned me. Maybe she has. It certainly feels like I'm on fire.

"Bella, this isn't what you think." That voice. That hair. Those stupid fucking eyes, the color of fresh grass after a storm, framed in thin, square glasses. He turns and it's like a punch to my gut. A knife straight to my heart.

He's just as fucking beautiful as I remember. Lean and strong, a swimmers build with a dimple in his right cheek as he gives me a weary smile. The white shirt he wears tightens across his shoulders as they square, and I'm sure he's preparing himself for whatever fight I have to give.

I take a small step back as he takes one toward the door and my jaw tightens a tick.

"B," he says, and his voice is so smooth, and my body remembers it. The way he used to whisper it against my neck, calling me to him. It's punishing and delicious and I want nothing more than to run to him, but I'm stuck, wide eyed and mouth dry.

Rose is looking back and forth, confusion lacing her every move as his eyes flash with something I don't understand. They are stupid ass eyes. A mix of green and grey and everything I hate.

"No! Nope. No fucking way!" I scream and reach into the house for the knob, slamming the door shut on myself. "God damn it, Emmett!"

I don't even bother trying to make it to my car. I bolt right off her lawn clutching Bacon to my chest as I fight back the tears I know are coming. I hate myself a little for at least not grabbing a beer or having a cigarette with me. It would make self deprecation so much easier.

Instead, I take Bacon for a walk, letting him pee on Charlie's mailbox, before I leave their street. We walk for almost an hour before we make it to the small park in their neighborhood. I tie his leash to my ankle and let him go wild as I swing.

I want to punch something. Maybe slash his tires. I want to run far far away and never ever look back. I let myself get comfortable with the fact that he's at least four blocks and one slammed door away.

"Can you believe her, dude?" Bacon looks up at me, obviously annoyed that I interrupted his pee time. "Shut up. Did you drink out of the toilet before we left? Where are you hiding all that?"

He ignores me again, giving me time to think, which helps nothing.

I should have known. I should have let the warning really sink in instead of ignoring it. Emmett only had one real friend in college. They were so damn close, always together, even going on family vacations with us. They were roommates the entire four years. They went to ball games together. Played football together. Wherever Emmett was, so was Edward. My graduation. My Prom. They both taught me how to drive and how to fish. I have never in my life seen two friends so close.

I should have fucking known better, and yet I played dumb.

And now I'm stuck here, with my car at Rose's and him just feet from my car.

I could call a cab, but my phone's in my car and as much as I love her, no way am I going back right now.

"I knew she was up to something. Paying for lunch and offering me the good coffee. God, I'm an idiot, Bacon." He snorts and my foot twitches to kick him.

"You are a horrible listener. One day you're gonna make a nice hamburger very happy." I sneer at him, tensing as footsteps close in on us.

"No." The feminine clicking of heels against pavement make me sigh in relief, but only a little. "Go away, Rose!"

"Bella, wait," she says, out of breath and standing in front of me like an angry parent. "I swear I didn't know. I wouldn't do that to you. Emmett's my husband, but you're my best friend." I turn away from her like a child, but she grabs my hand forcing me to face her.

"He told me he wouldn't do this. He promised me, Rose." Stupid tears prick at my eyes and I wipe at them, cursing that I was born with a vagina.

"What happened, B?" she asks. "Emmett said it wasn't his place and Edward was freaking the hell out. I don't think he was prepared to see you either."

I pull out the chain from my neck, my hands shaking, and the thin gold band gleams against the street lamps.

I remember the first time he pushed it on my finger. The kiss when I said 'I do', and all the in betweens. The good. The bad. The amazing. My hand clenches around the chain and I swallow the lump that's trying to work it's way up my throat.

"Edward happened." I twirl the ring. "This happened."

"Crap." She touches the gold band and looks at me. "Shit." And there is a slew of other very unlady like words as she stares at the gold band.

"Yeah."

"Emmett talked about Edward all the time, he never said anything about this."

"No. I made him promise. It was so fucking stupid, he should have told you, or I should have. I don't know. It's just… shit happened and there wasn't an Edward and B anymore." Those words don't hurt as much as they used to. I've locked that emotion attached to them into a cold, dark place.

"You want me to take you home?" She sits down on the swing beside me, feet towing the dirt and watching Bacon eat grass with me. "Maybe go grab some coffee or something?"

I look up and let the chain drop. It's weight is an ugly reminder as it nestles itself deep into my shirt.

"No. I'm too pissed." At who, I have no idea. I grip the chain on the swing a little too hard, but I don't stop. I enjoy the way it turns my knuckles white.

"I know. Why he thought this was a good idea…" She starts, but I stand up, releasing Bacon from my ankle so I can talk to her. I don't want to hate her, she's never been mean or hurtful to me before, but my feelings are hurt and there he was. Right in their house. Looking even better than I remember with his grey green eyes and his dark hair.

"When did you find out?" I don't want to know, but I do.

"When you slammed the door in my face." She squeezes my hand, but it's numb, just like the rest of me. "I wanted to go after you, but Em stopped me. He stopped Edward, too. God, he can be so thick sometimes."

"I think he was just trying to protect me. Worst way ever." I will definitely be talking to Em soon about this and the difference between good and bad protection. Asshole.

"So this is what you've been running from?" Her voice is gentle and I hate it.

"Gotta do what you're best at, right?" I shrug. "And I wasn't really running."

"Liar. You only stay in town because you know Emmett would track you down, but I know you. You want to run now."

And I do. My skin is itchy and my mind is racing.

Rose looks at me and I know there is so much she wants to say. "Edward seems like a really nice guy."

"Yeah, he was. That's why I hate this so much. He should have stayed gone."

We're both silent for awhile after that. I let my mind soak in what's happening. I tell myself nothing has changed. Edward's here. Had I been less selfish maybe I would have known sooner. Maybe not.

I don't want to think about Edward or what him being here means. Or even why my heart was flipping out at the very sight of him. We have a pact, my heart and me. No fluttering bullshit and I would keep it clean. Healthy.

"Come back and have dinner. Em's already got the hood of your car up, so you aren't going anywhere anytime soon, and if you stay out here much longer he'll just come find you." She laughs because it's true. Emmett has always found that brute force is the only thing that works on me.

"If I break his arm would you be mad?" I look toward where she came from, waiting for his truck lights to appear.

"Which arm?" We both laugh and she hugs me hard. It's nice, but I can't shake my anger.

"It's been five years," I scream to the sky. "Why is he here?"

Why now?

"Remember that job Emmett offered you when you started dancing?"

"No." I play stupid. One call a week letting me know it's available. Two texts and a fax. Emmett is anything but subtle.

"Liar." She laughs. "Well he was serious. He really did need somebody for the books, and Edward knows finance. He didn't do this to hurt you."

"That job was bullshit. Charlie would have never agreed to that." I can just see Emmett proposing that to Charlie. He would probably accuse my brother of being high.

"Emmett has more pull than you know."

"Maybe, but it's still Charlie's business. Hiring an uneducated, spiteful daughter makes for bad business." I shrug. I didn't want that job anyway. Emmett wants me to clean up my act, but that place will only make me worse. Not better.

"One day I'm gonna get the entire story." She narrows her eyes and I bite my lip, really not wanting to discuss that again.

"Does Charlie know?" Something twists in my gut, like a thousand tiny knives stabbing me at once. I wouldn't put this past him. He's tried sneaky shit before to get me to come back to work for him. To come home.

She snorts and I narrow my eyes.

"He has no idea." She leans back laughing as I'm sure the realization dawns on her. If anyone will be as mad as I am, it's Charlie.

"He's gonna be so pissed. Can I be there when ya'll tell him?" For the first time I smile and it feels good. Mischievous.

"Sure. It's been awhile since I've seen Charlie turn red and throw things."

"Yeah," I laugh. "Seeing my once upon a time husband, the one he made sure I would never see again, in his office and knowing he has to cut him a paycheck? I might not even have to kill Emmett. Charlie will do it for me."

"Not. Funny."

But it is and we both laugh as Bacon rolls in the grass.

* * *

**Ham. Satan my Cat. Granny. Lynz. You ladies rock. Thank you. **

**If any were wondering, Granny gave me the idea for the song B sings. Trina's Pull Over. **

**Now onto reviews. Thank you guys so much for them. I love the Bacon love and Al's balls even got some last chapter. You guys are just fucking awesome! **


End file.
